


Love is a Losing Game

by Chainthatbinds (orphan_account)



Series: Breaking In [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-06
Updated: 2011-08-06
Packaged: 2017-11-14 23:06:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Chainthatbinds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teen Castiel and Dean break up. Cas sulks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is a Losing Game

Castiel sat in his room, staring at his hands. He'd been sitting in the darkness with no form of company but his own thoughts and the artist currently streaming from his iPod through the white wires and into his earbuds. The music was as high as it could go and, therefore, too much for his ears to deal with directly. Instead, Cas had the white, saucer-like music receptacles looped around his ears and dangling at a safer distance.

_For you I was a flame._  
_Love is a losing game._  
_Five story fire as you came,_  
_Love is a losing game._

It would've made more sense to just turn down the volume but Cas never really subscribed to the normal, sensical way of doing things. He smiled humorlessly to himself. That was one of the many things Dean had confessed he'd liked about him. It was the guy's last ditch effort at trying to get Castiel to give him the time of day back then.

It wasn't that Cas wasn't interested in Dean Winchester. He just knew that it wouldn't work out. They were from two different worlds. Castiel Collins Novak (damn his father and his love for alliteration) was a straight-A student, the head of the creative writing club, the ASB representative to the school board and had just received acceptance letters from NYU, Princeton, Stanford and the small liberal arts school in Pennsylvania that he and Dean agreed to both apply to together.

Dean Winchester was the gorgeous, bad boy who spent any free hours (that weren't with Cas, at least) as the shop teacher's assistant, working on his car or watching out for his little brother. He was a student capable of making good grades but refused to put in the effort because he didn't see the point in letting himself down when he didn't get in to any schools.That last part was Cas' observation and nothing that Dean would ever come out and say or even admit to.

_One I wish I never played,_  
_Oh, what a mess we made,_  
_And now the final frame,_  
_Love is a losing game._

It was in a fit of anger that he'd broken up with Dean. Cas had just come to him completely frustrated. He'd been freaking out because his older brother, Michael, had decided that he should go to Princeton. His other brother Luci - he never went by Lucifer and probably was the only one with more reason to be pissed at their father's name choices more than Castiel – said that he should go to NYU. Raphael, of course, chose Stanford. Gabriel, as always, didn't choose a side and just left the room whenever the issue was brought up.

Dean, instead of consoling Cas, told him that he'd lied and never actually applied to the liberal arts college. “That should make the choice a little bit easier” were his exact words. It'd taken all of his will power to keep from punching Dean square in the face. Instead, Cas yelled. He yelled for so long that his vocal cords started to feel raw. Dean just sat there quietly, taking in his own shoes and taking every word in silence. When Castiel just couldn't keep going, he started walking away from the green-eyed fool with an inferiority complex. When Cas said that he never wanted to talk or see Dean again, the bastard finally had looked up, shocked by the reaction.

_Played out by the band,_  
_Love is a losing hand._  
_More than I could stand,_  
_Love is a losing hand._

Now, Castiel was locked in his room, wanting to escape it all. He didn't want to deal with his stubborn brothers, his big life choices or, most importantly, Dean Winchester. Most teenagers would be having a fantastic day with the news he'd gotten. True to form, Cas was having one of the worst that he'd ever experienced instead. The only comforts he had were the pillows between the headboard and his back, the feather filled comforter wrapped around him and the song that he'd been listening to on repeat for the last three hours.

_Self professed, profound,_  
_'Til the chips were down,_  
_Know you're a gambling man,_  
_Love is a losing hand._

“You really have crappy taste in music, you know that?”

Cas' head snapped up and his body tensed. He knew it was Dean before their eyes had met but his mind just didn't understand it. The look on Dean's face when he said his final words meant he definitely was paying attention when he'd said them. Despite what he'd like people to think, Dean was very intelligent. There was no way he hadn't heard or misunderstood what he'd said. Castiel just couldn't wrap his head around why his now-ex-boyfriend was now crawling into his window.

“So you're just gonna stare at me and not say anything?” Cas decisively moved his gaze elsewhere to deny Dean even that privilege. “I guess I deserve that.” Cas continued to stay silent, which lead to a sigh from the only other person in the room. “I guess I don't need you to look at me or talk to me for what I've gotta say. Just... hear me out okay? Turn off the music, listen to me and I'll be outta here faster than you can say Chevrolet.”

After a few moments of consideration, Castiel brought his thumb to the wheel of his iPod and lowered the volume half way but didn't actually turn it off. After a few moments, he assumed that Dean received the message since he started talking. “I lied to you. You've got every reason to be pissed off at me. I'm not even gonna try to deny that, okay? I just want you to know why I did it.”

Castiel heard him hesitate and sigh but fought against the urge to look up. After another moment, Dean continued. “You're smart, Cas, like, crazy smart. You'd probably get in to any and every school you would apply to. You deserve your choice of any of 'em and you deserve to make that choice without any influence from anyone. No one should cause you to feel like you should go to one place or another. Not your brothers and definitely not me. It's your damn life. So... that's why I said what I did when you told me about those dicks downstairs.”

It all was sinking in. All the sadness and frustration twisted together and formed a fresh set of anger. It was enough for him to ignore his sore throat and say in a loud, gravelly voice, “You stupid, son of a bitch. Are you telling me that you passed up a chance to make a future for yourself because you didn't want me to choose a school that you might go to or might be close by?”

Dean shook his head, “No, Cas, I-”

Castiel didn't want to hear it. “Well, how the fuck do you think I feel knowing that you'll be stuck in this town because of me? Do you _ever_ think things out? I mean, did you even take a second to acknowledge that _you_ might be just as important to me as what stupid name ends up on the top of my degree in four years? No, you were too busy trying to find another way to make yourself miserable and make me miserable in the process. I swear to God-”

_Though I battle blind,_  
_Love is a fate resigned._  
_Memories mar my mind._  
_Love is a fate resigned._

Dean rushed forward and put his cold hand over Castiel's mouth. “Christ, Cas, can you just let me finish? Please? I lied... but what I lied about was about not applying, alright? I applied and I got in. I'm going to god-damn-college so stop freakin' out about that. I just- I don't want you to think you've got some strange obligation to stay close to me. Before you'd..." Cas saw Dean hesitate again and knew he was talking about the break up. "Yeah... I was planning on just saying we'd do the long distance thing. If my mom and dad could do it while she was here and he was in freakin' Vietnam, I think we could handle it.”

Castiel moved Dean's hand from his mouth but continued to cradle it with his own. “Waiting for someone to return from war isn't the same as going to two different schools, Dean.” His hazel-green eyes dropped contact with Cas' blue ones. He looked back up when Castiel started warming his still-cold hand, though. “I appreciate your concern for me making my own choices, though you chose one of the most idiotic ways to show it.” He smirked when Dean looked for a witty retort and faltered. “I've made up my mind on where I'm going.”

Dean's face lit up but quickly shifted into a wary glance. “And it's got nothin' to do with me or your family, right?”

Cas nodded. “It's based completely on where I feel is the best suit for me.”

“And, uh,” Dean licked his lips, swallowed and cleared his throat out of anxiety, “what about, you know, us?”

Cas smiled and looked down and their hands. He slid his fingers between Dean's and locked them together. “You know, as much as you hate my choice in music, you should be more grateful that I listen to it. It's kinda told me to stop worrying about the end result and enjoy what I have now.”

Dean snorted. “You're such a girl sometimes.”

Castiel rolled his eyes and turned the music back up. The baulking noise Dean made brought a much needed laugh out of him, too. Cas leaned forward, kissed Dean and whispered, “Just shut up and lay here with me for a while.”

_Over futile odds,_  
_And laughed at by the gods,_  
_And now the final frame,_  
_Love is a losing game._

**Author's Note:**

> http://chainthatbinds.livejournal.com/


End file.
